Murder Under the Mistletoe: A Canon Clement Christmas Novella by Richard Coles

Author:Richard Coles [Coles, Richard]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781399621496
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2024-10-23T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Five

The Christmas pudding had burnt with a satisfactory blue flame, only slightly scorching the sprig of holly stuck in it. It was almost impossibly rich – ‘I find the brandy butter rather cuts that richness,’ said Bernard, heaping it like mashed potato onto his plate. Jane asked for a fruit plate as a substitute for Victor and he got the fruit bowl. The silver sixpence buried within the pudding, preserved for this use in the Clement family for three generations, went to Honoria, who declared her find. Jane said, ‘See, it’s not only the nuts that could have choked you, Victor.’

Theo had found a bottle of Tokay at the back of the drinks cabinet, which Audrey thought might have been acquired by one of her great-aunts, but the contents were delicious and added to the somnolence that began to fall over the table in anticipation of the fading winter light outside. The Stilton, magnificent and proud on its cheese board, a serving spoon doubling as a scoop laid casually to one side, was untouched, like the dates and the glacé fruits and the mandarin oranges. The nutcracker lay unused in the bowl of Brazils and hazelnuts and almonds and walnuts.

The fire suddenly spat and roused Audrey, who looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and shouted ‘The Queen!’ so loudly she roused everyone else. She shooed all her guests into the drawing room, and as three o’clock struck from the church tower the television screen lit up to reveal royal trumpeters in scarlet and gold playing a fanfare as the Queen came onstage at a Save the Children concert at the Royal Albert Hall wearing a dress that made even the fervently loyal Miss March think ‘shower curtain’. Surrounded by children of many nations, rather than the familiar backdrop of Windsor Castle or Buckingham Palace, she invited the young of the Commonwealth to consider environmental issues and then went backstage, looking more uncomfortable among her guileless questioners, Daniel thought, than in a press of world leaders.

There was another awkward moment when the National Anthem was played and Bernard thought it proper to stand, so everybody else had to also, but he rather struggled to get out of the sofa he had been directed to sit on, and by the time he was up the sovereign was already victorious, happy and glorious, and everyone else was looking to sit down.

Miss March was the next to be discomfited because Alex said, ‘Did I see presents under the tree?’

Audrey said, ‘Yes, you did, but—’

Daniel interrupted. ‘I don’t think we—’

‘Anything for me?’ said Alex.

‘I don’t think there are presents for everyone,’ said Daniel. ‘Some have given gifts in other ways, so it might look a bit uneven …’

‘You can’t just leave them there,’ said Alex. ‘Let’s go and see who’s been a good little boy or girl and who hasn’t.’

He flung open the door to the hall and made them all troop out and form an awkward semicircle around the tree.

Before anyone could

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